Does This Look Like Richard Nixon?

Earlier today, I was on an exceedingly boring conference call, and, as per my convention, I began doodling. I've been reading Anna Karenina, and I just finished the part where Anna and Vronsky go to Italy and visit a Russian artist there. The artist has just completed a work of Pilate and Christ. I thought, "Why don't I try to draw what I imagine that painting to look like?" The result? You decide. In my opinion, Pilate appears to be a zombie-looking Richard Nixon. I drew it on the fly, with nothing to use as a model. I really hope I don't have our 37th President on my mind...

Any thoughts?

I'm In Love With PMQ's

What? You've never heard of it? What? You have no idea who these two fine chaps in the above picture are? Well...let me enlighten you, my fellow American. I, too, didn't know who they were not long ago. Now I do, and I must say, I am in love with the United Kingdom's Prime Minister's Questions.

To the left is Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister and member of the Labour Party (a Labourite). To the right is David Cameron, the Opposition Leader and member of the Conservative Party (a Tory). Each Wednesday, they do battle in the chamber of the House of Commons in London for thirty minutes, and it is awesome.

The tradition first began at regular intervals in the 1950's, though before that, the Prime Minister would take questions off and on. Today, it works like this:

1. Before PMQ's begin, backbenchers with questions submit them to the Speaker of the House of Commons.
   
2. The Speaker chooses the names of those who want to ask a question randomly, separated by party, and keeps that list with him.
3. The first question is traditionally given to someone who will simply ask "Number One, Mr. Speaker," which references the typical first question: "What has the Prime Minister been doing?"
4. The PM responds, usually, with something on the order of "This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others. In addition to my duties in the House, I will have further such meetings later today." Now is when the fun begins.
5. The first actual question is given to the Leader of the Opposition (currently, David Cameron). He will ask a series of questions and follow-ups, to which the PM must respond on the fly.
6. The minority leader in the opposition (currently Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats, or Lib Dems) will ask a few questions and follow-ups.
7. The Speaker calls on the backbenchers from his list, and they will ask their questions. He alternates by party. If a Member of Parliament (MP) who is not on the list wants to ask a question (usually, a follow-up that is germane to the subject at hand), (s)he will stand up as the PM begins his answer to the previous question and will try to catch the Speaker's eye. If he so chooses, the Speaker will call on that MP next.
8. The gibing goes on for thirty minutes, when the Prime Minister basically says "Thank you" and leaves.

The big table in the center of the commons has two ornate boxes, known as the 'Dispatch Boxes' (see right). This is where the PM and the Opposition stand and face off. To the right, you can see two holders for the ceremonial mace. It is brought in by the Serjeant-at-Arms when the House is in session and symbolizes the power of the House as the representative body of the people and of the Sovereign as head of state. There are two lines drawn parallel to the benches, supposedly set two sword-lengths apart. Members are not supposed to cross the lines (and will be ridiculed by the other MP's if they do), out of a tradition that debating members should stand far enough apart that they cannot duel. Sometimes, listening to PMQ's, you're convinced that they're about to wring each others' necks.

The best part about PMQ's, from an entertainment standpoint, is the way that you see the raw disagreement pouring forth. Unlike the U.S., where our members of Congress snipe at each other through newspapers and give speeches to empty chambers, the House of Commons seems engaged in the day-to-day operations of Britain. This isn't just fun to watch, but it's important as well. Real debate is vital for a democracy to flourish. We don't get that very often in America, since there is a systemic flaw: members rarely, if ever, need to interact with each other in public. We then feel like everything is happening behind closed doors (which it is, in committee meetings), breeding resentment against the politicians.

John McCain said on the trail last year that he'd institute a "President's Question Time" similar to the Prime Minister's. I'd love to see something like that happen, though I worry that it may pull something from the aura of the Presidency. Unlike the UK, where the State is represented by the officially non-partisan Sovereign, who is 'above politics', our head of State is intimately involved in the process. There remains, however, a majesty to the Office of the Presidency. We are protective of the President in a way that we aren't of Congress. We like the pomp of state dinners and of the State of the Union and of Air Force One and the White House. Perhaps it would be best to see a representative of the President go at it with the Opposition. Then the President would be called a wuss, though, and would be forced to show up in person to defend himself and would be lowered into the fray. Maybe it's a lose-lose with our system.

In the meantime, I will continue my infatuation with the Brits' PMQ's.

Happy Birthday, Abe!

Of course, he would've hated me saying that, since Abraham Lincoln hated being called 'Abe.'

Today marks the 200th birthday of the legendary Abraham Lincoln. In many ways it seems surreal; Lincoln has been sainted into the American pantheon, so like George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and all their kin, he has become more of an idea and a model than a mere mortal.

The real Abraham Lincoln is worth learning about. It's easy to find a book and really any part of his life. Some are simply a work in hagiography; some are honest dives into his many and frequent contradictions. The best place to start, I would say, is where his fame began--the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates. Many people forget that (i) the debates were simply between two Senate candidates from the small frontier state of Illinois, and (ii) Lincoln lost that election (not by popular vote; Democrats won in the state legislature and voted to send Douglas to the Senate, since it was before the passage of the 17th amendment), though two years later, he managed to win the presidency in an electoral landslide against the same Stephen Douglas that he had lost to before.

From the outset, Lincoln's presidency was a constant crisis, only beginning to settle a week before he was killed. Upon his election, a number of Southern states rejected the outcome, choosing to secede from the Union rather than be under a country run by an 'abolitionist' (though, at the time, Lincoln would not have put himself in that camp). When he took the oath of office on March 4, 1861, he reached out to Southerners, reminding them that

In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the Government, while I shall have the most solemn one to 'preserve, protect, and defend it.'

Aggress they did, and for four bloody years, over 600,000 Americans perished. Lincoln was known for the pain he suffered at the losses and for the happiness he took in sparing some from it; in one story, a woman came to the White House, begging him to grant her son, a deserter from the Union Army, clemency, which he immediately did, saying "I think this boy can do us more good above ground than under it." He educated himself quickly on the matters of war and strategy, constantly struggling with his generals. From the pompous and ineffective George McClellan (who would unsuccessfully challenge him in 1864 for the presidency) to the inept John Pope (whose famous statement, "my headquarters are in the saddle," was met with Lincoln's retort that "The problem with General Pope is that his headquarters are where his hindquarters ought to be"), Lincoln struggled to find a military leader capable of achieving his aims: full Union, and, only later, emancipation. He found his man in later 1863, with the rise of General Ulysses S. Grant.

Ultimately, the Civil War was won, and Lincoln was vindicated. A week after General Lee's surrender to General Grant at Appomattox, Lincoln, having visited the conquered Confrederate capital of Richmond a few days before, took an evening to see the play, Our American Cousin, at Ford's Theater in Washington. Halfway through the second act, the famous stage actor, John Wilkes Booth, burst forth into Lincoln's private box, shot the president, and lunged to the stage, snagging his stirrup on the drapes of the balcony and breaking his leg. He shouted "Sic Semper Tyrannis!", the motto of Virginia (meaning "thus always to tyrants!") and ran off the stage. Lincoln never regained consciousness. The next morning, at 7:22am, he passed away in the bed of the Peterson house, across the street from the theatre, with his large legs hanging over the edge of the all-too-short bed. The Secretary of War, Edwin Stanton, looked at the clock, which was opened and stopped, and said somberly "Now he belongs to the ages."

Lincoln's effect on the United States was greater than any president, before or since, with the possible exception of George Washington. The country in which he grew up was uncentralized, State-run, half slave and half free, backwoods, and brand new. The country he left spewed forth power from Washington, had dramatically settled a major Constitutional quandry, been made fully free, and was on the course to become, in less than 50 years, one of the most powerful players in the world. He helped establish the modern laws of war. He sought to be sure that the North was a victor but not a conqueror. He desired reconciliation. Most importantly, he was led by the ideas that had founded the nation and which still lead us today. The Founders, he believed,

intended to include all men, but they did not mean to declare all men equal in all respects. They did not mean to say all men were equal in color, size, intellect, moral development or social capacity. They defined with tolerable distinctness in what they did consider all men created equal — equal in certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness ... They meant to set up a standard maxim for free society which should be familiar to all: constantly looked to, constantly labored for, and even, though never perfectly attained, constantly approximated, and thereby constantly spreading and deepening its influence and augmenting the happiness and value of life to all people, of all colors, every where.

Abraham Lincoln was deeply flawed, as are all people, but managed to be the perfect man in our nation's most desperate hour. It's good that we remember his birthday and celebrate his achievements. The man has become myth, but I think, like the myths of Washington and Franklin, of Roosevelt and Kennedy, it is important for us to hold onto. The American psyche looks for leaders who were strong and selfless, who were introspective and extroverted. We celebrate those who met scorn in office but were vindicated after. We mourn the loss of those who weren't able to complete the work that they had "thus far so nobly advanced". He was a remarkable man, and today I wish him the happiest of birthdays.

On Cato the Younger

[[Warning: Long post]]

Two summers ago, when vacationing in Florida, I decided to pick up Dante's Purgatorio for some light reading. FYI, the Divine Comedy is not light reading. Nevertheless, very near the beginning, in Canto I, as Virgil leads Dante to the island of Purgatory, Dante notes

I saw beside me an old man alone,
  Worthy of so much reverence in his look,
  That more owes not to father any son.

A long beard and with white hair intermingled
  He wore, in semblance like unto the tresses,
  Of which a double list fell on his breast.

The rays of the four consecrated stars
  Did so adorn his countenance with light,
  That him I saw as were the sun before him.

. . .

Now may it please thee to vouchsafe his coming;
  He seeketh Liberty, which is so dear,
  As knoweth he who life for her refuses.

Thou know'st it; since, for her, to thee not bitter
  Was death in Utica, where thou didst leave
  The vesture, that will shine so, the great day.

That man was Cato the Younger, or Cato Minor in Latin (as opposed to Cato Major, or Cato the Elder, his great-grandfather). He was a Roman Stoic statesman, known for both his unflinchingly rigid morality and his full-bore defense of the Republic when Caesar came to power. For this, he has been venerated for generations. Dante made him the eternal gatekeeper of Purgatory (unlike his fellow pagan philosophers, who were forever in the mild sadness of Limbo). The American Cato Institute is named for him (indirectly). George Washington had plays about him read to his troops at Valley Forge to encourage them, even though such activities had been prohibited by the Congress. Even today, the man has fans, and I count myself among them.

To be sure, we know much about Cato (compared to many of his contemporaries), though that which we do have can be difficult to decipher. Plutarch wrote about him in his Lives, but that wasn't for over a century after his death. Cicero wrote a supportive pamphlet about him after his death, creatively entitled Cato, and Julius Caesar responded with his Anti-Cato. Cicero's is lost to us, and Caesar's only exists in fragments. Marcus Brutus was dissatisfied with Cicero's attempt so wrote a different supportive pamphlet, which Octavian (later Caesar Augustus) responded to in the negative, just as his great-uncle Caesar had done.

What we learn from the man is impressive and should be reflected on today. For a time, he served as a military tribune, and Plutarch notes that when he left, "he was sent on his way, not with blessings, as is common, nor yet with praises, but with tears and insatiable embraces, the soldiers casting their mantles down for him to walk upon, and kissing his hands, things which the Romans of that day rarely did." This is because he "willingly shared the tasks which he imposed upon others, and in his dress, way of living, and conduct on the march, made himself more like a soldier than a commander....In this way, without knowing it, he produced in his men at the same time the feeling of good will towards himself. For genuine desire to attain virtue arises only in consequence of perfect good will and respect for him who displays virtue."

He returned to Rome and became a quaestor, fulfilling his role marvelously--hacking away at waste and corruption of the public funds. He was there for a year, and then stepped down, lauded by the public for his incorruptibility. Having been quaestor, he was automatically a member of the Senate as well. He aligned himself quickly with the Optimates, the conservatives who had supported Sulla's dictatorship. He, however, since his childhood, had hated Sulla, and sought to return the Optimates to their pure republican roots. He was elected as tribune of the plebians in 63BC and assisted his friend Marcus Cicero (consul at the time) in rounding up the members of the Catiline Conspiracy. In one of his first debates with Julius Caesar, he argued that conspirators should be put to death, even though they were Roman citizens. Caesar believed that imprisonment and exile would suffice, for taking the life of a citizen was reprehensible and contrary to law. Cato, however, won the Senate to his side by pointing out that were the conspirators allowed to live, they may well succeed in destroying the Republic and the laws for which it stood. Breaking the law was, in effect, the only way to preserve the law.

Cato's and Caesar's personal and political feud began at that point. It was exacerbated when, intent on propriety within the Senate, Cato accused Caesar of reading personal notes from the conspirators while the body was in session. He pulled the paper from Caesar's hands, only to find that the note was from Cato's half-sister, who was also Caesar's mistress. Caesar was known to take in his political rivals' wives and family to gain traction against them. Angered and embarrassed, Cato's and Caesar's mutual dislike only increased.

When Caesar attempted to return to Rome with both a Triumph and a consulship, Cato filibustered, speaking all night so that the Senate could not vote for Caesar to run for consul in absentia. Caesar was forced to enter the city peacefully, foregoing the Triumph, to run for consul. He won that election, to Cato's dismay.

According to Wikipedia (always the best source, I know...):

When Caesar became consul, Cato opposed the agrarian laws that established farmlands for Pompey's veterans on public lands in Campania, from which the republic derived a quarter of its income. Caesar responded by having Cato dragged out by lictors while Cato was making a speech against him at the rostra. Many senators protested this extraordinary and unprecedented use of force by leaving the forum, one senator proclaiming he'd rather be in jail with Cato than in the Senate with Caesar. Caesar was forced to relent but countered by taking the vote directly to the people, bypassing the Senate. Bibulus and Cato attempted to oppose Caesar in the public votes but were harassed and publicly assaulted by Caesar's retainers.

As the Triumvirate formed, Cato and the Optimates attempted to force a schism between Pompey and Caesar. They were ultimately successful, because Pompey feared Caesar's political ambitions. In 49BC, Cato convinced the Senate to strip Caesar of his expired command. Were he to enter Rome again, he would do so without legal immunity. This was to have devastating consequences.

Caesar's army, for its part, was still loyal to him. Though he attempted a compromise with the Senate (which Pompey would have happily given), Cato refused to allow him any power. Forced with the choice between exile and war, Caesar chose to march on Rome. He was declared an enemy of the Republic by the Senate, and many senators, including Cato, soon took to the field with Pompey against him. After Pompey's defeat at the Battle of Pharsalus in 48BC, Cato escaped to Utica. However, Caesar was close on his tail. Finally, refusing to live in a world devoid of freedom and controlled by Caesar, Cato attempted suicide. An injured hand, however, prevented him from properly stabbing himself, and he was stitched up. According to Plutarch, "when Cato recovered and became aware of this [having been saved], he pushed the physician away, tore his bowels with his hands, rent the wound still more, and so died." "Give me Liberty or give me Death" was never so true.

The Republic was Cato's love, and his entire life was fought in defense of it. Though his efforts were ultimately unsuccessful, and Rome fell (or rose) into Empire, it should be remembered what James Stewart says in Frank Capra's Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. "Sometimes the only causes worth fighting for are the lost ones." Certainly a fascinating character of history, easily earning his mantle in the pantheon of political greats.

Billy Mays is a Republican?

That's hilarious! Maybe he can be the new spokesman or the chair of the RNC, since the current candidates seem to be too busy throwing pointy objects at each other.

L.G.: So all those kinds of products are in the $19.95 range or less and your high-end product is ICanBenefit.com. Since we're in the middle of a presidential campaign, I have to ask, would it be possible to use you as a pitchman for a presidential campaign?

B.M.: Well, Chuck Norris does.

L.G.: Right, he did for Mike Huckabee, but that was more sort of a humorous thing, I suppose. A lot of the fundraising is done on the internet, in small increments—indeed, in many cases in $19.95 increments. Could you see a situation where you're selling Barack Obama or John McCain in that way, or is that just too nutty?

B.M.: I think if I was approached by the McCain camp. I'm a Republican.

L.G.: Maybe this is unfair to ask, but how would you pitch John McCain? Would you say, "Billy Mays here for John McCain?"

B.M.: Security. The world's a safer place. Country first. "Billy Mays for John McCain! If you want to keep you and your family safe, vote McCain!" I'd have to think about it, I wouldn't like to bash anything. I'd like to keep things positive.

Mathematical Caricatures?

I was looking for a good photo of Ronald Reagan to caricature (he's so wrinkly...), and I came across this amazing article. It's about topology and how continuous deformations of objects can yield recognizable, though drasitcally different mirror-objects. The question asked (and never answered by the article) is: why is it that we recognize a cartoon of a certain person as that person. How is it that all the cartoons about George W. Bush are clearly about him, even when the White House and other context-driven clues are removed? It also asks why people can recognize someone with only a tiny piece of the face--the eyes, the hair, the nose, the mouth, etc.


Most caricatures are not done by mathematic means but by emphasizing already prominent features (while maintaining space relationships between different facial planes). What does that mean? Cartoonists are effectively using biological topology every day. Why do pictures that emphasize George Bush's hair not look like him while those that emphasize Rod Blagojevich's do? Why are Jimmy Carter's lips always big, while Richard Nixon's nose is always long? These are the identifying characteristics, and, I would posit, they are the planes that most strongly depart from the ideal face of beauty, be they bigger, smaller, wider, thinner, or whatever.

I was bored at work

...so I drew a caricature. Can you guess who? I'll give you a clue: his initials are J-F-K.

Obama Logos

I must say, though I am no huge fan of Barack Obama, I really enjoyed the graphics of his campaign. McCain's seemed so very traditional, while Obama's in some strange way seemed to speak to the 'now'. I'm a firm believer that you can't underestimate the simple power of aesthetics, especially in political campaigns. People in my generation are attracted to things that look new and modern. His team clearly spent some time trying to find a look that would suit the Obama message.

This link is to the Obama logos that didn't make the cut. I especially like the speech-bubbles, though I understand why his final choice was, in many ways, ideal. The uniqueness of his name let the 'O' make his symbol very obvious (in a way that an 'M' likely wouldn't have been for McCain), and the center being a rising sun over stripes, which both evoked the American flag and the classic agrarian life (did anyone else notice that it looks like a freshly plowed field?), was, to put it bluntly, very impressive.
That said, the Republican party needs to hire some people with eyes for aesthetics. Bold words won't cut it anymore. It didn't help either that McCain is old and white and his smiles are creepy. Even youthful supporters of his like me cringed a bit when watching him.

Also, the traditional Republican elephant is boring. It needs to be changed.

Sarah Palin Name Generator!

Ha--this is awesome. Type in your name, and it picks a random name that you would have if you were one of Sarah Palin's kids. Mine is Rope Hoover Palin. My mom is Spoon Archer Palin, my dad is Spackle Camshaft Palin, and my great-great-great-grandmother (Kunnigunde Schneider) would be Clip Dragon Palin.

Try it out here!

Happy Birthday, Constitution!

Well, that venerable old document turns 221 today. It seems like just yesterday that we were a little group of colonies that couldn't even take in taxes without burping something up. Remember those confederation days? Back before we had a president or a Congress that could do anything meaningful (oh, wait...that sounds a lot like today, too. I guess you never get too old for some things.)?

So, happy birthday, you lovely old document. Thanks for forming a more perfect union, establishing justice, ensuring domestic tranquility, providing for the common defence [sic], promoting the general welfare, and establishing the blessings of liberty on us, your posterity. It's been a bumpy ride, but I think you've handled the road pretty well thus far.

Good links on Constitution Day here, here, and here.